


What to Mak(oto) of it?

by Hypno_Cat



Series: A Queen and Her Pet Panther [2]
Category: Persona 5, persona - Fandom
Genre: F/F, Makoto also has anxiety because uh that's how I wrote it, Ryuji/Akira if you squint, v gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-04-30 23:33:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14507880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hypno_Cat/pseuds/Hypno_Cat
Summary: Makoto can't seem to put a finger to the reason why she's so focused on Ann's curves, or that fucking beautiful smile.





	What to Mak(oto) of it?

**Author's Note:**

> This is a birthday gift for the wonderful Ataraxiias (On insta). Happy birthday, you fucking queen!

Makoto Niijima at first wasn’t sure how to feel about Ann Takamaki. She tried to keep an open mind with all students, after all, she _was_ the student council president. She needed to emit a friendly, welcoming aura so her peers could feel welcome to talk with her.

She had noticed the girl before - it was hard not to, with her colorful hair, beautiful looks, and the few times when she was loud (which seemed to happen a lot more often recently) but she didn’t know the girl personally.

At least, that was how it was in the beginning.

And then, the task of finding the Phantom Thieves was thrust upon her. She didn’t question why, nor did she protest despite already being worn thin between studies, council duty’s, and the neglect and toxic vibes coming from her own sister.

No, she merely accepted the task that was even giving police trouble.

To be fair, she did a good job, only cutting her sleep down to four hours.

But, the evidence was piling up, and with some snooping, she came across four suspects. The quiet transfer student that rumors shrouded in a dark blanket, - not that she was one to take rumors at face value, of course - The renowned rebel Sakamoto, who was injured by Kamoshida himself, some student from Kosei that was under the wing of the most recent target of the phantom thieves, and…

Takamaki. The popular girl, friends with Suzui-san, someone who had been so harmed by Kamoshida… God, Makoto couldn’t think about it. To witness a student attempt… it had wracked her with guilt. She was supposed to stop things like that, to be there for her peers..

And yet, Suzui had tried to take her life.

Makoto felt terrible even thinking of accusing Ann with the amount of stress and pain from the recent weeks, but the evidence was decent, and if she could capture the phantom thieves, who were breaking the law…

And then, there came the news about the Mafia. Her peers came to her, begging for assistance, and she was forced to comply, despite not being qualified in any way.

From that point, everything seemed to be sped up, and all she wanted was to take a break and enjoy just relaxing, not having everything all at once demanding her brain space, yelling and screaming and kicking, begging for her attention.

But she had responsibilities, and Sae had done twice as much as she was in her days, she was just bitching about a little stress.

She was fine.

She had to be fine.

 

She was  _fine._

And then she overheard Sakamoto yelling about the phantom thieves, which had held the promise of dropping a bit of her stress.

So, she attacked the lead with all she had.

And when she finally dragged the confession from Akira’s lips, for a second, everything was quiet. The negative thoughts, the imposing deadlines, the uncertain future. All had been screaming for her attention, creating a bubbling pit of poison in her mind.

It was gone.

And then, it all kicked up again with a vengeance, worries, and stress clouding her mind yet again.

As time went on, it felt as though everything was out to get her. Sae was even harsher than usual, words cutting through her heart like a knife, uncaring. Akechi was goading her on, perhaps without even realizing, pouring salt on her wounds.

Takamaki even confronted her, yelling about how she could have done something about Suzui-san. She should have, after all, she was the student council president. What kind of authority figure like her wouldn’t take better care of her peers?

One day, she just couldn’t take it anymore. It was like everything had accumulated, mixing together with the sole purpose of becoming a mental poison.

_Right now, you’re useless to me._

__

_Pushover._

__

_You only have time to think about things like that because you depend on others._

__

_Suckup._

__

_All you do is eat away at my life._

__

_Lazy._

__

_Isn’t it about time you grew up and acknowledged our situation?_

__

_You could have done something! But you just sat on your ass and pretended nothing was going on!_

Harsh words wore down on her, cold glares from those she thought she could trust eating away at her internally.

_‘Am I… truly useless?’_ Couldn’t help but cross her mind, her chest heavy with conflicting thoughts.

It was the twentieth, the day she had approached the thieves.  As soon as she was in their view, glances were thrown around, and postures changed to more guarded, aggressive positions.

Icy words were thrown, but she remained calm, dodging most of them. The words were irrelevant and came from criminals. She thought she would be fine. And then, one of Takamaki’s words struck her.

“You may be student council president, but when it comes to what we do, you’re useless.”

She had said it with her face twisted, just as Sae’s had last night.

“Useless..?” She found herself echoing, unable to stop herself. She looked at all the thieves, feeling at that moment like a lost child. They glared back.

“To be frank, Yes.” The navy-haired one confirmed - he had to be Yusuke, from the reports she had read.

His face was ice cold.

“Just stay on your high horse and watch. Or do you wanna eavesdrop, since you’re so good at it?” Ann snarled.

For a second, she felt a fleeting pain at the jab.

How much more would she take?

She stood straight. How foolish she was, showing weakness to those who only wished to strike her down. She would not only prove them wrong, she would do a better job than they could ever dream of.

Her opinion of Takamaki tanked.

The rest of that day was a blur, probably due to the fact that pure spite, kidnapping, and finding out about a new dimension were typically described as draining. But the one thing that stayed clear in her mind, was summoning her persona.

The taunting from the human equivalent of a steaming pile of shit had caused pure, boiling hot anger to seep into her veins, searing away all of her self-hatred and doubt, and instead channeling it all towards him.

The headache that had bloomed, and her _fearlessness_. How she had commanded the power to come out, how she had torn off her mask without a second's hesitation.

How she had seen red at that moment, her rage overshadowing the pure pain.

Although, looking back on it, perhaps her seeing red was more due to the blood that poured from her face, but y’know, it still felt epic regardless.

And god, the feeling of Johanna purring under her, it felt meant to be.

But the most spectacular thing was how her mind cleared. The fog, the self-loathing, the filthy words she had allowed to harm her, the _pain_... It all cleared.

Even later, when she laid in bed, trying to sort all the scattered pieces into a coherent memory to save, It felt overwhelming.

Her mind didn't stay totally clear as days went on, but it was still an incredible difference. The summoning wasn’t a cure-all - but it was a start and a damn good one at that.

 ****  
  
  


The next day, Ann asked her to the student council room. It was a little nerve-wracking, to say the least. What if she had made the wrong choice in trusting the thieves, and Akira had sent out Ann to threaten her or force her into the team? Sure, she would be happy to help enforce justice, but what if she had misjudged their characters, and she would actually be forced to inflict pain on the innocent?

But her worries never became reality. Instead, Ann had sat her down and… apologized. She even went as far as to bow low to Makoto, her face screwed up in sincere guilt.

That alone made her forgive Ann for everything. God, how could she? Ann had not only apologized, she looked so vulnerable, so… No, weak wasn’t the right word for it. Was there one?

But god, seeing her like that, it only made Makoto feel worse.

“Hey… there’s no need for that.” She spoke softly, wanting to reach out. “In fact, I think the two of us are pretty similar.”

That seemed to shock Ann enough, as she straightened up. “Huh?”

 ****  


Swallowing, Makoto looked down, studying the faux wood grain. “I was unable to save anyone. Not Suzui-san, and not any of Kaneshiro’s victims. I shifted blame onto myself, drinking a mental poison and spending hours at a time, just wallowing in self-pity and hatred instead of trying to help. The only time I actually helped was threatening you all, and god, none of you needed that on top of everything… I’m deeply sorry as well. I’m afraid I was rather useless the past months.”

It felt almost relaxing to lay that all down and come clean, but also nerve-wracking. Maybe Ann would realize that Makoto was really just an asshole, and she’d leave her for dead.  

“I see…” Ann murmured. And then, she smiled up at Makoto.  The smile was like no other, so incredibly beautiful and cheerful, yet a little soft. Her heart melted into a puddle at the sight. “In that case, wanna call it even?”

“Huh? Even?” She paused for a moment, waiting for Ann to shake her head and correct her. It took her a few seconds to realize she hadn’t misheard her, and that she was still waiting for an answer. “You’re right… How about we leave this conversation in the past?” She asked, waiting to see Ann’s reaction. Maybe she had overstepped some boundary?

To her surprise (Whether it should have been or not, that really didn’t matter.) Ann nodded her head. “Mmhm! Oh and…” Her expression turned somewhat more somber for a moment. “You’re not useless, Niijima-senpai. Maybe a little reckless, but you were the reason we found Kaneshiro’s palace. And, you obtained the power to change people’s hearts. You did that all yourself, Niijima-senpai.”

Makoto couldn’t help but let out a chuckle, both to fill the air while she sorted out a sentence, and in relief. “That way of thinking is very much like you, Takamaki-san.” She almost stumbled, used to calling the woman Ann mentally.

Ann looked at her quizzically,  prompting her to continue.

“When you confronted me about Suzui-san, I realized how small I was. You’re very direct - that assisted quite a lot in helping me realize the error of my ways.” Not to mention it helped fuel her self-hatred, but that wasn’t the intent of Ann, and it was true, she had spent so much time in her head recently that Ann’s words helped her reflect. “It turns out, I’m a little slow on the uptake at times… Hey.. can I call you Ann?” She felt silly as soon the question left her mouth, but she didn’t have the time to try and take it back.

 

“Um, yeah! I… I’m going to do the same, M-M-Makoto… Ach, that’s so embarrassing!”

She wasn’t sure what - maybe it was how welcoming Ann was to the idea, but Makoto felt a surge of confidence. “How about we get something to eat before we go home for the night?”

She smiled shyly, but there was no need to worry. Ann nodded enthusiastically, grinning. “Ooh, I know a place! There’s a crepe shop on central street that totally stuffs their crepes!”

Confidence started to bloom within her. “Do you want to split one?”  


“Mmm, let’s each get a whole one and then we can go Half and Half on those!”

“Ah, well then, shall we?”

As she got home later, even after the scolding from Sae (who was actually home for once) about being out late, Makoto had to admit.

 

Those were the best crepes she had ever had.

It was unclear when her feelings started to go past the thin line between platonic and romantic. It could have been their trip to the beach, or perhaps sometime even before that.

All she knows is that over a few short months, she had fallen for the beautiful blonde model. And while it wasn’t exactly clear to her at first, that didn’t mean her teammates shared the blindness.

Most specifically, Akira. He had invited her over to Leblanc to study, but for once, her mind was elsewhere. She couldn’t stop thinking about Ann. What hair products did she use to make her locks look so soft? Did she ever let her mind drift while posing? What was her proudest accomplishment?

 

Of course, her mind wasn’t just filled with questions about the girl.

No, it was also filled with thoughts of appreciation over her striking blue eyes, or the soft pink color lipstick she wore today, or how her summer clothes looked so incredibly good on her- It was honestly getting out of hand.

It only took a few minutes for Akira to realize the student council presidents mind was on a vacation. She hadn’t even reacted when he slid out of the booth and had jolted in her seat so hard she slammed the math textbook off the table when he plopped a nice ice coffee in front of her.

In his own, special way, he didn’t comment, only sat in front of her and gestured his hand, as if to ask _‘The hell’s up with you?’_

Perhaps the phrasing was her projecting unto him a bit.

Just a teensy bit.

She bit her lip, taking a swig of the cool drink to postpone talking about it. After all, how the hell are you supposed to say that for some reason, your mind has been _extremely_ focused on the soft curves and enchanting smile of one of your closest friends?

After a moments silence, Akira sighed. “Look, you don’t have to tell me anything, but it may feel better getting it off your chest. Just know I’m not only your Leader, I’m also your friend, and I’m always here to lend a listening ear.”

“Ah, thank you… It’s just, I’m not really sure what to make of it? Usually, I can put things together easily, I’ve always been great at logic games, but this is giving me such a hard time. It’s like there’s a missing piece of evidence missing?” She frowned into the coffee, gaze lowered. “Haha, sorry if that analogy doesn’t make sense, I’ve been playing Phoenix Wright recently..”

Akira was silent for a few moments (not out of the ordinary, he liked to ponder things before he spoke.) “Alright, well, what’s the pieces of ‘evidence’ you already have?” He used his fingers as quotation marks, something so out of the blue she had to laugh.

“God this is embarrassing… Ah, I guess, I guess I’ve been thinking about Ann? Not in a negative way! She’s just been on my mind a lot, you know?” Makoto felt her cheeks warm, and she tried to hide it behind the cold glass, taking a long sip.

She would have tried to stay there forever, hiding her embarrassment behind the cup, when Akira guffawed. The sudden noise - not to mention from someone who was the textbook definition of quiet - startled her, and the glass slipped from her lips, spilling down her brand new white button up.

The rest of the visit was a jumble of confusion, from Akira apologising between wheezes _"It’s just - you’re just now - and she’s!”_ to them unsuccessfully trying to get the coffee stain out.  

It didn’t really help her situation, but she could almost forget it thanks to the pure joy on her leaders face - something that seemed to be growing more scarce, despite how well their reputation was.

It wasn’t until one day, something seemed to come over Ann, that Makoto came to realize her true feelings.

She wasn’t sure what it was - a lack of sleep, a sudden cold, a distraction, or hell, maybe even Mona being his usual pervy cat self again - but Ann was unfocused. That much was clear, especially when she got hit for the third time in a row.

She was rushed out, and Makoto just wanted to go with her, make sure she was fine. And that was exactly what she did, putting in all the effort she could in killing the shadow that had injured her friend.

As she reached the blonde’s side _(who had taken off her mask, probably so Morgana could reach the cuts under it)_ she reached out, softly checking for a fever.

Ann was a little warm, although it didn’t feel warm enough to be a fever, but as her calloused hand touched the girls extremely soft skin, Makoto felt she herself was running one. “Hmm, you do feel a bit warm. Perhaps you should take it easy, Panther.”

It took everything she had to back off from the woman, allowing Joker to step in. Instead, she claimed a spot next to Ryuji, who was watching the pair just as intently as she was.

It was only later that night that it hit her.

She had a massive, gay, crush on Ann Takamaki.

 ****  


That was enough to fuel her anxiety. What if Ann died right in front of her? What if Sae was disapproving? Her sister was all she had, she couldn’t lose her.

Although that wasn’t completely true, part of her argued. She had seven wonderful people who were like a family to her, and who would be completely accepting.

But what if Ann didn’t feel the same? Would that ruin their friendship, the trust they had? What if Ann pushed her away, or hung out less with her because of it? Makoto had grown too dependent on their little lunches out, could she live with not being able to see whom she considered one of her best friends, except in the ‘workplace’?

And so she sat on her feelings, saving them for late at night.

Besides, there were much more pressing matters, like Akechi, or the due date of what could be her friends death closing in, or keeping a watch on her sister because while they were 99% sure Haru’s fathers death was because of Akechi, there was still the doubt that they might accidentally kill the one blood relative she had left.

Not to mention all that bullshit was a breeding ground for her Anxiety.

And then Akira survived, and it was like they had traded one worry for another - they had to take on Shido, the world's most inflamed hemorrhoid, and even if Makoto wanted to confess to Ann, she couldn’t. It felt like the world was collapsing on them - one last move, and they’d be dead.

Even Ann - who was surprisingly rather collected - felt the heat. During their most recent luncheon, she had been rather quiet, mainly sticking to occasionally glances at Makoto, or the limited edition crepe they split.

Not that Makoto minded - she had gotten used to silence from the nights Sae had worked through, plus, it gave her an excuse to study Ann’s face without being caught.

That day was like an island in the cold, unforgiving ocean.

Soon enough, they were fighting God himself. It was taxing - she had felt like crumbling to the ground and allowing death to whisk her away. But she had her teammates - Sae - The entire world - relying on her ability to fight, and she resolved that if she were to die, she would rather die fighting.

She couldn’t remember many of the details from the fight, but she could remember afterwards.

The cold nip of Winter, the tranquility of looking up and watching the snow drift lazily downwards, the feeling of loss in more ways than one, but also a massive weight off her shoulders.

She also remembered the fleeting thought that it was quite romantic.

Makoto was stuck in her head, just savoring the moment, when someone called out to her. “Hey, Makoto?”

“Yes, Ann?” She called out, moving her head to face the blonde.

The woman looked rather troubled. “Ah… Are you occupied tonight? I understand if you are, I just… I guess it’d be nice to relax in the company of someone.”

Makoto could only feel thankful the cold air had pinkened her cheeks already, so her blushing fit right in. That’s not to say everything was so hidden, though. “Oh… Oh! Ah, I’d… I’d really like that!”

If her composure wasn’t already undone, it was absolutely wrecked as Ann smiled softly at her. It wasn’t fair, really. Her legs were already exhausted, so why should Ann have the power to make them feel like jelly?

And then, as if that wasn’t enough for her poor little gay heart, Ann walked right up and linked arms with her.

She didn’t even have the time to text Sae as she was swept to Ann’s apartment.

They spent the first half of the night playing video games and eating pizza. Makoto wasn’t as good as Ann, but when they brought out 888, a game based mostly on logic (with a good story line, too) they did wonderfully together, both minds working to become one.

It was a pleasant distraction. Makoto wasn’t sure that she’d have been able to sleep that night, so putting their minds together and having a good time was a massive upgrade.

“Hey, Mako. Lean over here for a sec,” Ann called, beckoning her with a finger. Complying, Makoto drew closer, making sure to place her hands in places that wouldn’t lead to an awkward encounter. Something drew to her cheek, and softly, Ann wiped the corner of her mouth with a towel. “Hah, you got a little bit of sauce on yourself.” Ann teased softly, no idea what she was doing to the woman in front of hers heart.

Something about the delicate touch made Makoto’s cheeks redden, and she averted her gaze, instead looking at a very interesting spot on the carpet. _Just don’t think about it, don’t make this weird, it’ll be over soon, and you can go back to pretending it’s-_ Something softer than the towel, softer than even a flower petal, pressed against her cheek, and her mind went blank.

Ann had kissed her cheek.

After a second Ann recoiled slightly. “I’m so sorry! I don’t know what came over me and-” Making a split second decision, Makoto turned her head to the blonde and almost lunged forward, capturing her lips.

The kiss was… wow. It was gentle, yet it held a little bit of desperation.

It only took a second for Ann to kiss back.

When they pulled apart, gasping slightly for air, Makoto grinned impishly. “I guess we can call it even?” Ann only laughed and pulled her into a warm embrace.

 

At that moment, everything was peaceful. Nothing to worry about, just the warm body and soft kisses of the girl she loved.

 

 


End file.
